I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Can I color on your dick again?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
