I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize