I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
