yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Come share oat with me in your robe
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
