Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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