Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
