let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
