Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
