so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
