i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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