Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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