She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
