Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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