wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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