He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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