Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
