both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
