dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize