She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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