She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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