The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
