if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
