Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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