I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize