Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize