Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
