can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
