could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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