Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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