remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm getting married
To pizza
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize