Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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