i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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