I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
