I looked at my own cervix.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
