words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
