And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
