Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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