You can't motorboat a personality
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
