That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
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