I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
