u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize