My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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