I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
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