you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
