why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
