YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize