Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
