are you still at the devil's house?
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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