if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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