Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
