Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
