Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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