I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
