I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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