sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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