I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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