I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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