I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Ladies don't puke and tell
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
