and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
