the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
