And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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