I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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