thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
